I was thinking of Joan Didion’s essay “Why I Write” as I named this post, and now I want to reread it. (And for the pedants out there, yes, she got the title from George Orwell, so I suppose I’m referencing him as well.)
I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.
Joan Didion. “Why I Write.” New York Times, December 5, 1976.
I kept journals faithfully from the time I was eleven until I was twenty-four or so. Once I started living with The Ex, there were three barriers to journaling: I spent much less time alone, I had a confidant (in theory), and I couldn’t put my most private thoughts on paper lest he (or, later, our kids) read them.
(Yes, I see the conflict between the last two items—the confidant with whom I can’t share my most private thoughts—but it only became clear to me just now, as I wrote this. See? I write to find out what I think.)
I have wanted to be a writer—have been a writer—for as long as I can remember. Most of the words I’ve written have been seen by no one but me.
And I’ve always chafed against the restrictions against talking openly about sex. Some reasons I can understand: Indiscriminate sex talk can make the people who hear you feel unsafe.
Other reasons I have less patience for: It’s not polite. If you’re a woman, men will think you’re a slut or that you’re propositioning them.
The more we talk openly our sexual experiences, thoughts, and desires (and listen compassionately to others talk about those things), the more centered we are likely to be. The less weird we’re likely to feel. And the healthier we’ll be, sexually and emotionally. And probably physically.
And let’s face it, talking about sex is fun.
I’ve wanted to start this blog for a long time. Actually publishing posts about sex makes me feel the way I do when I decide not to wear a bra in public: defiantly free, delightfully comfortable, and more like myself.
So I’m writing to see what I think, what I love, what I want, what I fear. And I publish in the hope my posts will help someone else figure out those things, too.
And also because reading about sex is fun. Hope you have fun here.
I really enjoyed reading this. I’ve just just caught up with some of your other excellent posts as well. (I admit, my blog reading has been somewhat tardy of late.) Your writing is fresh, thoughtful and precise. You have a love of words and you write with humour too, which is so refreshing. And you’re quite right, reading about sex is fun. Especially the way you write about it.
What a nice compliment! Thank you. Hope you continue to enjoy the blog.
I am enjoying your blog, V. I see my pal Pons does too. That is true validation in my eyes.